Corners of the heart

I am lost within the whirling garden

that is my beating heart.

Sitting on this broken step again, 

wondering, 

"Am I just so smart?" 

I would write to you a letter sweet,

But I do not know where to start.

I've been thinking about you lately dear,

Ever since we've been apart.

Here I am still sitting on this step,

and looking up 

into the rain.

I thought I'd changed my whole perspective,

but everything still looks the same.

I've been thinking you were here with me

and I felt you take my hand.

I found the truth well up within me,

strange as far and distant land. 

I could turn 'round to have you,

Run and fall back to your arms.

We could be married and live forever,

in a cabin

on a farm. 

I could have your babies,

Be your wife, 

and make your lunch.

We could wake up late on Sundays,

and I would make you brunch. 

It would be like that,

I can imagine it so well.

To wake up next to you every single day,

You'd smile,

and my life would feel like hell. 

It sounds just so easy, 

But it wouldn't be so nice.

Settle Settle,

Boil the kettle, 

Ring the dinner bell. 

Like falling backwards

onto a rusty old sharp knife. 

The burden that I feel with you,

makes me hate my life. 

So, 

I'm gonna sit here for a while longer

Try and forget your name.

Afterwards I'll change my perspective all over again,

for it all to look 

the same.