Americans are Idiots

I read bulletin boards often.

People posting their obviously uneducated opinions

that make no sense.

 Misspelled words galore.

Contradictions abound.

Evolve already!!!

If you are going to bitch,

know what you are bitching about. 

Know what you are writing.

I feel like I am surrounded by idiots.

It is enraging. 

The shit that I read.

Completely enraging. 

Fucking evolve America!

The Day after Thanksgiving

The more you consume,

the less you live.

Go shopping, 

at 4am.

Save save save.

You are all mislead 

living lives of nothingness.

Consume consume consume.

So you can 

die die die.

Die nothing. 

Always a disappointment

The pictures I took, 

Of the night we all had 

tonight.

Are gone.

My camera,

must have known, 

how much I didn't need pictures 

of us all hanging out.

You are full of lies and 

misleading comments.

I am glad 

that you have been out of my life

for this long.

So very long.

You were a lover, 

I never had.

You were a friend,

I could never count on.

You are a disease 

that pops up 

every now-and-again.

I was angry,

My pictures disappeared.

But now, 

that I think about it..

I am glad

that my digital camera

is obviously

smarter than I am. 

Friend Jenn

Insomnia Monster strikes again!

Single Single

"Single single and ready to mingle!" 

says the man with the silver hat. 

He wears a combover,

a terrible blazer,

and a good bit of beer belly fat.

He staggers around the bars of the town

Lookin the ladies up and then down.

I hope and I pray,

I'll never see the day

I'm so single,

So single single and ready to mingle!

With a combover and beer belly fat,

just like that.. 

Just like that. 

I hope I'm never like that. 

Grand Happenings

I am right around the corner 

from an awakening.

I can feel it  speaking

right to me, 

whispering into my ear 

ever softly,

"I am here"

Today, 

smile.

It's raining outside,

and It is beautiful.

It is cleansing 

It is,

washing away the old dirt

and the all of the hurt

crusted all over my body

Down the drain it will go, 

away.

The rain

falls harder upon the ground,

I sit in peace and wait.

The Universe, 

I find, 

follows me around 

does things 

this way..

I appreciate it, 

beyond words I appreciate it.

I smile inside today,

and I smile to you.

Dirty Half Mexican

My love for you 

is like that of 

the scum

in my toilet, 

green and yellow,

growing and

rising above

the water line,

slowly and surely.

Ever dirty, 

Ever nasty, 

and always around. 

My love for you

is toilet scum.

How beautiful it is.

Dude, you suck

When I see your picture

It makes me angry

I feel rocks in my stomach.

You never told me,

but you never told me, 

either.

Hunger

I saw a buzzard flying 

circling 

spying.

Searching and seeking

in hunger

and also

with instinct.

I am hungry too, 

my bird,

I am hungry too. 

Shiver

I hide my feelings 

like a dog in the rain

pacing until he goes

insane.

I feel the swelling up

of glass inside of me.

I sit, 

I talk to the moon at night. 

And you, 

you,

you have no clue. 

Its gotten cold outside lately, 

and you, you have, no clue. 

A dancing skeleton once told me

"Don't worry be happy"

That skeleton danced so merrily.

I sit here, 

sad and wonder 

why, why can't I?

That skeleton, 

he had no heart full of worry and weight.

Which explains, 

why he was dancing so joyfully.  

The willow tree and Me

Great willow tree

you stand so tall 

so gracefully.

cry to yourself

weeping willow

weeping willow

weeping willow tree before me

i see you cry. 

secretly.

it's just you, 

it's just me.

You stand so true and tall

weeping willow tree

weeping willow tree.

I know the blues,

I feel them too.

It's like a weight 

I carry 

more than a state

of being.

The blues, 

the willow tree,

and me.

My shadow

I do nothing

But worry 

and fret.

I am a vomit of senseless mental activity.

A complete chasm of insecurity.

I am a house full of clutter

With ghosts walking about 

saying hello.

"hello"

I am a heart full of weight,

the weight of another.

The weight of a man I care for,

Pressing upon me 

Chest pains.

Your name is spilled all over my lips

your face is thrown in my vision all day

images in my mind for viewing.

Your laugh is burned 

into my smile.

I cannot be rid of you.

A chasm filling with greater questions and

greater insecurities.

It is

exhausting. 

This longing in my heart

is bear before me

stretching taller

I am ashamed.

I am torn apart. 

I am afraid

of my shadow.

I think too much

I wonder

If I am wasting thought

Thinking..

about you.

When I don't think

You are thinking at all..

about me.

I feel like an idiot.

Weight

My heart

feels so heavy

it could fall out of me

onto the floor

perhaps to be walked on,

and disappear out the door. 

A donation to you

I really dig butternut squash soup 

in the fall.

Hugs from someone I love.

Scarves round my neck

and leaves in the road as I drive

Home from time well spent.. 

A fox sees and stares towards me

coming towards him in the street 

I stare.

There is a way out...

I am full of wonder.

For the seasons and for my life.

I am puzzlement in motion.

I am full of doubt and a similar optimism.

I feel unawareness of where I am standing in this moment.

I am saddened, 

and confused..

Emotion crawls up the back of my neck

and it tries bursting out of my eyes.

What am I doing? 

I have let my attention go

A donation to you, 

To have in your pocket if you

so choose to.

I don't know if you do. 

I don't know.

This is a perception I have held lately.

It makes my heart ache.

I don't care for it much.

Blue 

because of you.

Can't just, be. 

Let it go and just hold me

No 

It just can't be

and it's all your fault.

It could never be that easy.

You are torturing me.

A rabbit evading and running.

I cannot try keeping up 

so fast you run

but say you stay.

I could drive down this road 

If I so choose.

There is a way out.

I am 

skittish 

as the fleeting fox now.

I want to be free of you.

Back into the cave of myself.

Protected.

I've set myself up for a huge disappointment which

I cannot bear to go through..

I cannot bear to go through it..

I cannot bear to go through this..

I watch my words and I guard my heart.

This,

this is,

this.

I cannot bear.

Because I do not know.

If you really even care.

Do you?

The Blues

It's making no sense

with how much you leave me alone

to guess how you feel