A donation to you

I really dig butternut squash soup 

in the fall.

Hugs from someone I love.

Scarves round my neck

and leaves in the road as I drive

Home from time well spent.. 

A fox sees and stares towards me

coming towards him in the street 

I stare.

There is a way out...

I am full of wonder.

For the seasons and for my life.

I am puzzlement in motion.

I am full of doubt and a similar optimism.

I feel unawareness of where I am standing in this moment.

I am saddened, 

and confused..

Emotion crawls up the back of my neck

and it tries bursting out of my eyes.

What am I doing? 

I have let my attention go

A donation to you, 

To have in your pocket if you

so choose to.

I don't know if you do. 

I don't know.

This is a perception I have held lately.

It makes my heart ache.

I don't care for it much.

Blue 

because of you.

Can't just, be. 

Let it go and just hold me

No 

It just can't be

and it's all your fault.

It could never be that easy.

You are torturing me.

A rabbit evading and running.

I cannot try keeping up 

so fast you run

but say you stay.

I could drive down this road 

If I so choose.

There is a way out.

I am 

skittish 

as the fleeting fox now.

I want to be free of you.

Back into the cave of myself.

Protected.

I've set myself up for a huge disappointment which

I cannot bear to go through..

I cannot bear to go through it..

I cannot bear to go through this..

I watch my words and I guard my heart.

This,

this is,

this.

I cannot bear.

Because I do not know.

If you really even care.

Do you?